==落寞==

难过的时候~已学会怎样让自己开心~
走走看电影~什么都好~逃离让你胡思乱想的地方吧~
心情真的会比较好~

是我不够爱~还是因为爱？
才让我什么都不想管不想问了~~
明明是这样~心里却不是酱想~

很落寞~
到底我是怎样的我~
到底怎样的我~能让他更想念~
到底几时~才会听见他主动说~我想见你~

都说了~我能接受这样的我们~
但偶尔~真的只是偶尔~会觉得累~
原来我还是有脾气的~哈哈~
原来我还知道什么是耍性子~
只不过他或许不知道我在耍性子~
只不过他更不会知道是什么原因~

其实也只不过是因为~
我很想他~~

但我也学会不去想他了~
应该说我已经不想让他知道我想他~
我也有自尊心~

女孩对自己所爱的男人发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣~
女孩从来不会真正去生他们的气~
因为她是真的爱他在乎他~

女孩只对自己爱的男人唠唠叨叨~
也只会对自己的人耍性子~

请给她一个拥抱~
用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪~
她爱你绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱~
她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静~

怎样的雨~
怎样的夜~
怎样的我~能让你更想念？

雨要多大~
天要多黑~
.....................................

无言........不争气.........
幸福~却流泪~

茅盾........

~My 20th B'Day~~

12th Nov 2008 was my 20th b'day~ haha~i noe it's oredi been past 2 weeks~but due to my assignments n speech~i onli can upload n wrote abt my
^LOVELY 20TH B'DAY^ now....yeah~*
erm~i think if i've not mistaken~i've been celebrating my 20th b'day for one weeks~=.=" it's kinda crazy but no choice la~who asked me got so many frenz~~~~WAKAKAKA~no la...juz Kidding~lolx...

^6th Nov 2008^

happy happy^^~i reach my lovely home at 9pm~haha~tumpang amy's sis car from KL~

^7th Nov 2008^

Hooray~my 1st celebration start on dis day~i celebrated wif my bez sista n my PG gang best frenz~ well~8 of us~

^me^amy^ginnie^karine^jing jing^soon^lun^wei jie^

^Group Photo^

we went to a korea restorant~for a korea feast~nice food~nice enviroment~overall is all ok la~ so happy dat i have them celebrating b'day wif me~

^my 1st b'day cake^

actually nvr think of we can celebrate together coz dis year i've goin up to KL for further studies~thx God~i can make it bek JB to celebrate wif them~haha~i love them so much~really miss our secondnary school life~

after our korea feasting~we went to coffee trap for yum cha~(it's seems to b our lao di fang for yum cha dy)~

^Coffee Trap^

dis place is full of memories~coz dis is oso the place where they give me farewell b4 i goin up to KL~sob sob..(>_<)... anyway~Mr Soon sang a song to me~for my b'day~song title~"MORE THAN WORDS"~kinda touching~(although is a love song dat supposed to sang by my bao bei)~haha~but i still appreciate it~thx soon~~i nearly cry~seriously~~yup~our frenship r more than words^_^~dis is the video dat we have recorded~

~More Than Words by Mr Soon to Me,Agnes chan~

^8th Nov 2008^

me n my lovely family went to danga bay~some sort like celebrate my b'day~but it's oso bcoz of my dad's company family day helding here~dat's why we r here~

^Dad n Mum^

^smelly me n round hand^

we stay there from 9am in the morning until 5pm in the evening~=.="~kesian me~after dat day~i'm dark again~~~~look like malay ah moi~shit lo~i hate dark skin(>.<)..n i'm the one who easy dark hard to fair wan lo(translate:容易黑很难白~lolx...)~for ur information~danga bay is JB's view spot dat all foreign visitors must visit~n it's a beach~dat's why i didnt stand under the sun but still get dark bcoz of the WIND~ we have a great time there~1st time playing pirates ship with whole family~my silly mum n dad laughting all the journey bcoz they r scared~WAHAHAHA~n my cute daddy enjoy playing bumper car~i nearly fly out from the car when i sat bside him in dat small bumper car...=.=" damn scary man~but it's fun~ on dat nite~actually mum's wanna buy me a cake~but too bad too late dy~coz dad n mum have to rush to church for meeting right after danga bay~their meeting damn long man~口水多过茶~i'm quite unhappy~mayb i'm not considerate enough~but i really doesnt feel good~i think my dad n mum sense dat~they quite guilty~i'm guilty for making them guilty too~ anyway~mum says will buy cake for me b4 i go bek to KL~happy happy~hehe~i'm childish rite?

^9th Nov 2008^

we are rushing for my bus at 1.30pm~before dat actually we intend to buy cake n blow~but waiting for sis at daya gospel centre~until 12.45pm~i have not enough time dy~so....i have to go~my sis saw me before i go off~but she cant even talk to me coz she's interpreting in front~i think she is sad too~when we leave i send a msg to her to tell her i'm leaving~she's reply me n she sound sad~my tears drop.......(>_<、)....coz i cant c my sis b4 i'm leaving.... n obviously we didnt manage to blow cake~but it's not so importang anyway~~ well~my next part of 9th Nov~ meet jia yin n gals in larkin~n they go up to KL wif me~to CELEBRATE my b'day!!!!!! yoyo man~besties in SDJ~~ we talk talk talk non-stop from JB to Yong Peng~from Yong Peng to i think Seremban~then actually we wanna to take a nap~but......we still talk~until Pudu~hahahaha~i wonder the people in bus will curse us like mad or not~i've never been talking so much thru out the journey from JB to KL~coz i always travel alone~kesian lo~haha~ reach KL....sit 30 bucks taxi to my hse(actually it's onli cost 7++bucks to my hse if taxi run by metre~)~Pudu is like dat de la~nampak orang ketuk saja! reach my hse~settle down...n we went to mid valley which is the nearest shopping mall from my hse(actually Bangsar Village is the nearest~but i think dat's not our standard...so...ignore it..wakaka)...

we go jalan jalan~makan makan~went to carls juniors for burgers~haha~nice burger~nice place~n most important things is~
^NICE BESTIES^

^Besties Burger+ing 2gather^

we went bek my hse 32 around 10 smtg~bath...blah blah blah~then go out to Mcd yum cha again~crazy man~we walk to my main campus mcd~n the journey is quite scary~we yum until........OMG......5am we r still there~the reason is.........they scared to walk bek~~~=.="~~~ i'm so sleepy....n finally i drag them bek~end up we not walking bek but running bek my hse 32~ haha~crazy us^^as usual..:p

^10th Nov 2008^

wake up early(actually i'm the latest to wake up..:p)~haha~6am onli sleep leh~damn tired lo~~~prepare to go shopping~

we reach times square early in the morning n non of the shop open to let us eat breakfast=.="~end up we having breakfast in a small corner maggie mee shop~super small nasi lemak selling there~

shopping shopping~crapping crapping~taking photo as usual~take everywhere anytime~wakaka~ i spend money buy clothes n bag again~but Agnes tan bought sooooooooo much things than me lo~~haha~

finally~they have to go bek to JB~stupid monarail we waited for 45 minutes~until they gonna missed the bus dy~end up they decide to go Pudu by taxi~gd thing they get into bus on time~~~

Juz wanna tell u gals dat....i really appreciate dat wat u all did for me~so glad dat u all celebrate b'day for me in KL~~thx gals~

^Jia Yin^Agnes ban ban^MingLi^

^My 2nd B'day cake~thx Jia Yin^

^11th Nov 2008^

me n bao bei went to red box in sunway piramid~haha~n we onli pay for 3 BUCKS~u noe why?bcoz of the celcom gave us 10 bucks voucher each~so~1st time paying 3 bucks for red box~wakaka~

after dat~both of us went to starbucks to blow cake~

^My 3rd B'day cake~thx baobei^

^Me n Jie^

haha~i love blowing cake~stupid rite?but it's fun~ bao bei bought me a pretty cake~n he sang b'day song to me which make me laught coz he refuse to call me.....ehem....~haha~ but he have to left at 3pm...coz hv some stuff to do in college~i'm quite disappointed~but i have to b considerate la~anyway~he wanna to force me go home but i dun want~coz i dun want to b bek so early la~so扫兴~haha~end up i shopping alone after he go~quite lonely..(>_<)...but fun.... n i bought things again...=.="....girls nature la~~haha~~
^tHx BaO bEi for everything^

^12th Nov 2008^

wow~!! the exact day of my b'day~~haha~
^12th NOV 2008^
bao bei is the 1st wan who call me n greet me happy b'day~damn happy n supprise~haha~ n of coz i receive many many msg from my frenz ya~~...n my sista too~my round hand sis send me a b'day song dat sang by momeh~

^b'day song by momeh(actually my sis sang it)^

dat makes me cry coz i'm too touch n i miss her badly..(>_<)...(i like to cry..:p)... 2day i celebrate my big day with.....^HOUSE 32^

^Hse 32^

^my 4th B'day cake~thx hse 32^

we went to small genting~n have alot of fun~we have a steak meal~with nice view~haha~of coz we went to the highest place~it's really a nice place~i love it so much~from there we can have night view of KL n we saw genting too~

^night view from small genting^

thx xiao tian for suggesting dis place^^ after dat~we went for a movie^Madagasca^at Mid valley~nice movie~

finally~my b'day end here~~~

^13th Nov 2008^

i tot my b'day was end but dis day i have a supprise party from my dear cell group W19 members~haha~very touching~n i've blow my 5th b'day cake with 5th b'day wish(actually i made the same wishes everytime)~

^my 5th b'day cake~thx W19 ^


^W19 cell member^

===================================================================== i think my 1st b'day wish oredi come true~which is i hope dat i can have happinese~i dunno abt the 2nd wish~hehe~anyway~i'm really feel happinese now~doesnt care abt future~as long as now i am happy enough~

----------A BIG THANK YOU TO-------

my bez sista
^amy^ginnie^karine^

PG gang
^Jing^wei jie^lun^soon^chuan^

my lovely family
^dad^mum^round hand sis^smelly baby^

my Bao Bei
^JiE^

my SDJ besties
^Jia Yin^Agnes ban ban^MingLi^

my hse 32
^xiao tian^yong jie^sze yii^joanna^cass^shari^n the guys^

my cell W19
^Faith^denise^aily^kian hong^zhi yin^Hansoon^jessica^n those who didnt mention^

PS: more photo~pls visit my:

frenster:http://www.friendster.com/photos/28833229/1/685440767
facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/photo.php?pid=164098&id=1372626166
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/photo.php?pid=158847&id=1372626166&ref=mf

~=it hurts me=~

i'm trying my best to make it perfect but sometimes it seems like not gonna works..somehow my heart hurt when i realize something that really shoot directly to my heart..
but..i think everything gonna b alrite..coz i'm not that kind of person who will ask for more especially in my relationship..it's kinda deceiving myself but dis is the only way to make myself happy i guess...or maybe i really take it too seriously..

..mayb my expectation too high?yup...mayb...n not anyone fails me but i fails myself...

i'm always the failure...i shud admit it...

but i'm still happy to b with him..i think i need to figure out wat really happen to me..coz i think i'm really got problem...lolx...

anyway...i didnt manage to get angry...am i normal?haha...i'm always NOT...

gd nitez...i broke my promise too...for sleeping early..:p

~+生日.愿望+~

又下雨了~竟然睡不着~
心情~灰灰~
还是会有想安静的时候~
今天的我不想笑~可能也找不到能让我微笑的理由吧~

我~的确是个很爱想的人~只要安静下来就能够想很多事情~想着想着~心情就会有所改变~有时会莫名的低落~有时会莫名的欢喜~我其实也不了解我自己~

或许在人前~我总是个很开朗的人~似乎不会有什么事能让我不开心超过几分钟~事实上我却不是酱~

是不是因为我太爱演了（朋友都说我爱演=.="....他常说我pattern多多@.@...哈哈~）结果爱到我自己都找不回自己（有时候会这样觉得）~真的不懂~我究竟是个怎样的人~好像一直在随着环境而改变~

“爱上一个世界大的男人~你会海阔天空~爱上一个世界小的小男人~你只会退步~”

这句话说的真好~然而如果你在大男人的世界看到渺小的自己~那该喜该泣呢？今天我所想的就是这个~对啊~我爱的他世界是大的~大到我有时甚至看不到自己~这也只能看我怎么去接受而已~我能接受~不过偶尔~真的只是偶尔~会有点累~起码~他还在~只要在我身边那就好了~

曾有个人跟我说过我的坚强只是在掩饰心理的不安~或许真的是这样咯~他还真的常常看穿我的心思~.....可能是~我们有点像吧~

要幸福~简单的三个字~现在还是牢记在心里~
嗯~我会的~这是我当时的回答吗？好像是~
呵呵~现在的我想告诉你~
谢谢~我真的幸福~

生日要到了~

我的生日愿望：（可以贪心一点吗？哈哈~）
我希望~我能幸福久一点~~（还真的很贪心~呵呵~）

还有一个~
我希望~我能带给身边的每一个人幸福~

5.04 a.m.
OMG!严重失眠=.=~
我是累的~晚安~

....i need a hug now..