==编织.梦.思念==

圣诞节送了自己一份礼物~
摔了一跤~
黑青了一大片~=.="....
笨到~~~~~~~
丢脸到~~~~~~~~

很快的又要回去我该回去的地方咯~
还有两天~
有点期待~又有点无奈~

期待是个必须吧？不然我的生活会很难过~哈哈~
期待认识多点人~是个必须~
期待这个sem看见已经改变的我~也是个必须~

无奈呢~~也不懂该怎么说~
无奈的要逼自己去期待~
无奈又要回去我该回去的地方继续追求我该追求的梦想~
无奈即使考到好成绩也不能骄傲的跟他说“喂！我做到了~”

不管怎样~编织过的梦想也只有自己能帮自己抵达了~
时间真的是不会留人的~
不管发生什么事都好~
它都还是残忍的在前进~
而我们也必须咬紧牙根追着时间努力的跑~
多痛多辛苦~
最后抵达终点的也只会剩下你一个人而已~

这~就是人生吧~
而往往身上越多伤痕的~生命就会越丰盛~

很多时候~我们无法选择自己想过的生活~
我们只能去习惯去改变没法选择的生存方式~

我最害怕的是~
回忆突然在心里翻滚~

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今终于让自己属于我自己
只剩眼泪还骗不过我自己

你会在哪里
过得快乐或委屈
锋利的回忆
又模糊了我的眼睛

思.念

==心.揪==

耳边传来好熟悉的名字~
愣了~
慌了~
乱了~
痛了~

心揪了~
碎了~
我是脆弱的~

心情还是那么容易被波动的~

我~还是想他的~

夜深了~

泪又掉了~

==姐妹.万岁==

跟姐妹朋友们说说笑笑就过了这个礼拜咯~

我想这是我过得最快的一个礼拜吧~
之前的两个礼拜时间好像蜗牛一样在爬~=.="
唉~

姐妹永远是最棒的~
姐妹抚平了我的伤口~
让我能再勇敢自信的笑了~

还有SDJ的宝贝们~
只要有我们在的地方~
就一定有欢笑~
不管做什么傻佬事我们都敢~
哈哈~
朋友~谢了~

不管多难过都好~
倔强骄傲的台起头说一声我不痛~
假装什么伤都没有~
就会真的能把眼泪忍下来了~

朋友说的一句：加油！Agnes Chan!!
让我有勇气继续走下去~
加油！！

^永远的好姐妹^

^SDJ宝贝们^

==自作孽==

原来我是那么的善解人意~
哈哈哈~好讽刺~

原来真正的痛苦~
不是别人给我的~
而是我自己给自己的~

自作孽~听过没？

原来是我太挥霍自己的真心~
又被退货了~

哈哈哈~
半价售卖！！
谁要？
找我~~

哈哈哈哈~
太可笑了~

==wat girls wants...==

when a girl is quiet~
millions of things are running in her mind~

when a girl is not arguing~
she is thinking deeply~

when a girl look at you with eyes full of questions~
she is wondering how long will you be around~

when a girl answer "i'm fine" after a few second~
she is not fine at all~

when a girl stares at you~
she is wondering why are you lying~

when a girl lays on your chest~
she is wishing you to be hers forever~

when a girl wants to sees u everyday~
she wants to be pampered~

when a girl says "i love u"~
she means it~

when a girl says "i miss u"~
no one in this earth can miss u more than dat~

life onli comes around once~
make sure u spend wif the right person~

find a guy~
who called u beautiful instead of hot~

who calls u back when u hang up on him~

who will stay awake juz to watch u sleep~

wait for the guy who~
kisses ur forehead~

who wants to show u off to the world when u r in ur sweats~

who holds ur hand in front of his friends~

who constantly reminding u of how much he cares abt u and how lucky he is to have u~

who turns to his frens n says "that's her"~

==残.局==

我们的生活有太多无奈
我们无法改变
也无力去改变
更糟的是
我们失去了改变的想法

人生最遗憾的
莫过于
轻易地放弃了不该放弃的
固执地
坚持了不该坚持的

有些事
我们明知道是错的
也要去坚持
有些人
我们明知道是爱的
也要去放弃
有时候
我们明知道没路了
却还在前进

--------------------------------------------------------------------

我真的很讨厌收拾残局~
如果人可以任意选择cut掉自己不喜欢的画面~
那该有多好？

==爱的天国==

有谁能够告诉我
时间的海多深
你和我的心明明曾经是相爱的

是否你还听得到
我呼喊你的声音
为何我有种靠不进你的心情

越来越不能够相信
生命之中没有你
好像天国没有美丽的嫁衣

为什么在我的眼睛
总有预感将要下雨
就算走在人群里也觉得好孤寂

为什么在你的眼睛
我看不到你的疼惜
难道爱已溶化在时间里

有谁能够告诉我
爱的天国多远
你和我的梦是否可能会实现

为什么相爱的原因
随着你转身的离去
爱的天国已遥不可及

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

从某方面来说~
你永远无法自一场重大的失落里康复~
它无法避免地会改变你~
但是你能够选择~
是否会使明天变得更好~

==领悟==

今天的我超没mood~
跟妈妈出去走走~却显得好不耐烦~
好像妈妈做了什么对不起我的事情酱~
唉~干嘛每次拿家人出气呢？
很讨厌这样的我~

晚上跟姐妹们喝茶~
好久好久没有这样了~
哈哈~而且还每次都遇到我们的同班马来同学=.="
世界好小~

不管怎样~我们谈了很多~
从这个谈到那个~那个又谈回这个~
二十岁的我们~感觉好奇妙~
二十岁了~有点恐怖~
想想以前的我们~
看看现在的我们~
不知道还有多少个二十岁能让我们挥霍~

而我的二十岁~应该还蛮刻骨铭心的吧~
第一次离开家里~
第一次煮饭=.="
.................
很多的第一次都在我二十岁发生~(不要想歪哦！哈哈)
我想~我应该会成长吧~
多姿多彩的二十岁~~~

对亲情~友情~爱情都有另一种领悟~

家人~
他们是最珍贵的~
家永远是最好的避风港~
以前的我从来没发现过~
原来我有那么美好的家~

友情~
看透了~
有些朋友~只能是泛泛之交~
有些朋友~只能用表面功夫~
有些朋友~久没见面久没联络却还是放在心上~
有些朋友~不管是彼此伤害过都不会离你而去~

爱情~
............
只能说~
心动的开始就是心痛的开始~
所以~
除非有把握自己能承受结束时的痛~
才能有把握开始一段感情~
这是我所领悟的~
也是我必须学习的~

但或许~
二十岁的今天所领悟的~
会跟三十岁的以后所领悟的完全不一样~

我的快乐~
会回来的~
问题只是~
几时和怎样而已~~~

也许~是我一直把自己锁在同一个圆圈里吧~

二十岁万岁！

==圣诞.愿望==

20岁的生日~
许了愿~

我希望~
我能幸福久一点~
没实现~
或许我真的太贪心了~

幸福久一点~
久的定义在哪？
一天~两天~一个礼拜~~~
难道是我要的太多吗？

我从来都没梦想成真过~
就不能~偶尔成全我吗？
我不想我的梦想真的就只能在我的梦里成真~
为什么我在梦里总能幸福的笑着~

我真失败~我承认~



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 我曾经
独自一人躲在街角默默哭泣
我真的
无法控制我自己
你的影子不断出现在我的脑海里
我不愿失去最爱的你

是不是就要让我忘记所有美好回忆
难道非要让我完全放弃
我的心早已被雨水冲得无法呼吸
才相信
爱是如此不容易

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

能不能让我许个圣诞愿望？
让我幸福~
就一天~
一天就好~~~

==回.家==

回家了~
回家的感觉真好~
回到家才感觉到原来我好累好累~
不管是身，还是心~我都把它们累坏了~

虽然做酱的决定不是我愿意的~
但毕竟还是自己的选择~
根本没办法后悔~
不过为何心还是那么的痛呢？

的确~放纵的过可以让我暂时忘记心痛~
说得好~酱的生活适合我...

==泪.累==

爱是如此的不容易~
自救不了~
只能麻醉自己~
用各种方式都好~

偏偏又让我碰上雨天~
原来我还知道什么是痛~
原来我还知道什么是泪~

怎样才算爱自己？
继续过疯癫的日子让自己忘记吗？
希望吧~
我正努力地在爱上这样的自己这样的生活~
如他所愿~

==或许==

或许~
我真的可以什么都不在乎了~
学着过像他那样的生活~
我想我可能会好过一点~
学着爱他爱的生活~

突然~
想让自己放纵的过日子~
原来绝望的时候~
真的可以什么都不在意了~

对象是谁~
谁给的拥抱~
都不重要~

我~
变了~

==sweet memories of house 32==

感谢勇洁、小田、咖啡王子、强哥和CH~
给我一个那么感动的farewell~
谢谢你们给的惊喜~ 让我真的觉得自己很幸运能有你们这些room mate~
虽然要搬家了~不过我依然相信我们的感情不会因此而改变的~
你们就像是我的家人~

谢谢你们特地买的蛋糕~
谢谢你们做的卡片~

哈哈~排写啦~昨晚失控了~
给你们带来麻烦~

谢谢你们把我抱得那么紧~让我觉得自己其实没被遗弃~
谢谢你们的安慰~让我觉得不难过了~
谢谢你们陪着我~在我真的很需要肩膀的时候~

昨晚我真的很开心~
虽然哭得很惨也吐得很惨~
终于解脱了~把这五天压抑的情绪一次过丢出来~
我会好好的~我只是需要哭一下下而已~
一下就好~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

translation for Prince Coffee^^:
thx for giving me such a nice farewell~
i enjoy myself last nite~
sorry for the trouble i give u..:p
i'll b alrite~

=====================================================================

~Sweetest Momories At Bar Celona~

thx for the cake~

~thx sweeties~

~thx for the card~

==谁==

几时能 忘记..
几时能 走出过去..
几时能 找回自己..
我想逃..
我想哭..
但 我力不从心...

谁...救我....

==选择==

有人选择因痴情而坚强~
也有人因为痴情而脆弱~

命运总有无情处~
唯有坚强者~
才能补救命运的刁难~

==痛==

---------------> 这里~很痛...

==不完美中的完美==

你说我完美~
我以为我努力更完美~我们就能到永远~

你说我完美~
值得更好的陪在我身边~
但你不是我所以你不会懂~
你对我有多珍贵~

我的完美~
让你不能呼吸~
我的完美~变成了一种罪~

“爱人的那一个，往往在不完美中给完美；被爱的那一个，却总是在完美中找不完美”

还你自由~
是我在不完美中能给的完美~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

终于鼓起勇气开口了~原来我也可以那么勇敢的~
人会因为环境而变得坚强勇敢~我想是对的~

分开前
想想了从前
想想傻傻的他~傻傻的我
想想还是朋友的我们
想想爱拿他开玩笑的我

想想当初爱上我的他
想想他跟我告白我却当他在开玩笑
想想我曾给他的伤害

想想之后爱上他的我
想想终于在一起的我们

想想他带过我去的地方
想想他给过我的生日惊喜
想想他给过我的快乐
想想他给我的安全感
想想在他身边就会很安心的我
想想骂我神经病的他~
想想终于会因为其他男生而吃醋的他
想想曾因为他而眉开眼笑的我

想想我常常吵他牵我手说爱我
想想我逼他唱生日歌叫我宝贝
想想最爱说他最帅了的我
想想最爱他的我

想想我被他判死刑的那一夜
想想死都不放弃的我
想想不吃饭不睡觉的我
想想为了忘记而忙碌的我
想想在他面前故作坚强的我
想想偷跑去他家看小狗的我
想想突然出现在他家门前然后惹他不高兴的我
想想躺在他身边哭了一整夜，然后默默离开的我
想想在车上伤心流着泪的我
想想发高烧自己一个人躲在家哭泣的我
想想我哭到睡着的那无数个夜晚

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
重新想过一遍后~我们的故事并不短~
时间慢慢过去~那些感动一点一点地封存~
心也痛了一回又一回~
告诉自己应该放手了~
我的眼泪已经不值钱~连我自己都不珍惜了~

没有了谁~
我们一样可以过日子~
问题是~
这些日子是否过的幸福而已~
容易满足是一种幸福~
还有追寻~是幸福~
拥有希望和梦想~是幸福~
小时候~幸福是一种实物~
长大之后~幸福是一种状态~
然后有一天~我才发现~
幸福既不是实物~也不是状态~
幸福是一种领悟~

狠狠地说了句分手吧~
打扮美美出门去~
一个人我也一样可以吃饭走走看电影~
在人来人往的广场~
一个人我一样可以~

忘了吗？那三个月的我~
也是一个人的~
一个人搭巴士~
一个人走走~
一个人上银行~
一个人看医生..........
我已习惯一个人~

我可以过得很好的~
他说我变了~
变坚强了~
对啊~是因为他让我变坚强的~
因为爱他所以我必须坚强必须勇敢~
这是一个必须~

因为只有这样~我才能勇敢说要分开~
只有这样~他才能安心的离我而去~
只有这样~他不会再觉得亏欠我~

他不也变了吗？人总是随着环境而改变的~
只是我说不出他哪里变了~
从他的生活跳出来并以旁观者的立场来看~
他也许真的变了吧~尤其在回想了从前之后~更能确定了~

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

请自己吃一顿好吃的~
看一部好电影~
买东西慰劳自己~
不管爱过多少个人~
不管爱得有多么痛苦或多么快乐~
最后~学会的不过是怎样用心去爱自己而已~

祝我幸福~
单身万岁~

P.S: 谢谢思忆陪我哭一场~舒服多了~还有谢谢所有关心我的人~

==落寞==

难过的时候~已学会怎样让自己开心~
走走看电影~什么都好~逃离让你胡思乱想的地方吧~
心情真的会比较好~

是我不够爱~还是因为爱？
才让我什么都不想管不想问了~~
明明是这样~心里却不是酱想~

很落寞~
到底我是怎样的我~
到底怎样的我~能让他更想念~
到底几时~才会听见他主动说~我想见你~

都说了~我能接受这样的我们~
但偶尔~真的只是偶尔~会觉得累~
原来我还是有脾气的~哈哈~
原来我还知道什么是耍性子~
只不过他或许不知道我在耍性子~
只不过他更不会知道是什么原因~

其实也只不过是因为~
我很想他~~

但我也学会不去想他了~
应该说我已经不想让他知道我想他~
我也有自尊心~

女孩对自己所爱的男人发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣~
女孩从来不会真正去生他们的气~
因为她是真的爱他在乎他~

女孩只对自己爱的男人唠唠叨叨~
也只会对自己的人耍性子~

请给她一个拥抱~
用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与眼角的泪~
她爱你绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱~
她只会害怕你的冷漠转身无声安静~

怎样的雨~
怎样的夜~
怎样的我~能让你更想念？

雨要多大~
天要多黑~
.....................................

无言........不争气.........
幸福~却流泪~

茅盾........

~My 20th B'Day~~

12th Nov 2008 was my 20th b'day~ haha~i noe it's oredi been past 2 weeks~but due to my assignments n speech~i onli can upload n wrote abt my
^LOVELY 20TH B'DAY^ now....yeah~*
erm~i think if i've not mistaken~i've been celebrating my 20th b'day for one weeks~=.=" it's kinda crazy but no choice la~who asked me got so many frenz~~~~WAKAKAKA~no la...juz Kidding~lolx...

^6th Nov 2008^

happy happy^^~i reach my lovely home at 9pm~haha~tumpang amy's sis car from KL~

^7th Nov 2008^

Hooray~my 1st celebration start on dis day~i celebrated wif my bez sista n my PG gang best frenz~ well~8 of us~

^me^amy^ginnie^karine^jing jing^soon^lun^wei jie^

^Group Photo^

we went to a korea restorant~for a korea feast~nice food~nice enviroment~overall is all ok la~ so happy dat i have them celebrating b'day wif me~

^my 1st b'day cake^

actually nvr think of we can celebrate together coz dis year i've goin up to KL for further studies~thx God~i can make it bek JB to celebrate wif them~haha~i love them so much~really miss our secondnary school life~

after our korea feasting~we went to coffee trap for yum cha~(it's seems to b our lao di fang for yum cha dy)~

^Coffee Trap^

dis place is full of memories~coz dis is oso the place where they give me farewell b4 i goin up to KL~sob sob..(>_<)... anyway~Mr Soon sang a song to me~for my b'day~song title~"MORE THAN WORDS"~kinda touching~(although is a love song dat supposed to sang by my bao bei)~haha~but i still appreciate it~thx soon~~i nearly cry~seriously~~yup~our frenship r more than words^_^~dis is the video dat we have recorded~

~More Than Words by Mr Soon to Me,Agnes chan~

^8th Nov 2008^

me n my lovely family went to danga bay~some sort like celebrate my b'day~but it's oso bcoz of my dad's company family day helding here~dat's why we r here~

^Dad n Mum^

^smelly me n round hand^

we stay there from 9am in the morning until 5pm in the evening~=.="~kesian me~after dat day~i'm dark again~~~~look like malay ah moi~shit lo~i hate dark skin(>.<)..n i'm the one who easy dark hard to fair wan lo(translate:容易黑很难白~lolx...)~for ur information~danga bay is JB's view spot dat all foreign visitors must visit~n it's a beach~dat's why i didnt stand under the sun but still get dark bcoz of the WIND~ we have a great time there~1st time playing pirates ship with whole family~my silly mum n dad laughting all the journey bcoz they r scared~WAHAHAHA~n my cute daddy enjoy playing bumper car~i nearly fly out from the car when i sat bside him in dat small bumper car...=.=" damn scary man~but it's fun~ on dat nite~actually mum's wanna buy me a cake~but too bad too late dy~coz dad n mum have to rush to church for meeting right after danga bay~their meeting damn long man~口水多过茶~i'm quite unhappy~mayb i'm not considerate enough~but i really doesnt feel good~i think my dad n mum sense dat~they quite guilty~i'm guilty for making them guilty too~ anyway~mum says will buy cake for me b4 i go bek to KL~happy happy~hehe~i'm childish rite?

^9th Nov 2008^

we are rushing for my bus at 1.30pm~before dat actually we intend to buy cake n blow~but waiting for sis at daya gospel centre~until 12.45pm~i have not enough time dy~so....i have to go~my sis saw me before i go off~but she cant even talk to me coz she's interpreting in front~i think she is sad too~when we leave i send a msg to her to tell her i'm leaving~she's reply me n she sound sad~my tears drop.......(>_<、)....coz i cant c my sis b4 i'm leaving.... n obviously we didnt manage to blow cake~but it's not so importang anyway~~ well~my next part of 9th Nov~ meet jia yin n gals in larkin~n they go up to KL wif me~to CELEBRATE my b'day!!!!!! yoyo man~besties in SDJ~~ we talk talk talk non-stop from JB to Yong Peng~from Yong Peng to i think Seremban~then actually we wanna to take a nap~but......we still talk~until Pudu~hahahaha~i wonder the people in bus will curse us like mad or not~i've never been talking so much thru out the journey from JB to KL~coz i always travel alone~kesian lo~haha~ reach KL....sit 30 bucks taxi to my hse(actually it's onli cost 7++bucks to my hse if taxi run by metre~)~Pudu is like dat de la~nampak orang ketuk saja! reach my hse~settle down...n we went to mid valley which is the nearest shopping mall from my hse(actually Bangsar Village is the nearest~but i think dat's not our standard...so...ignore it..wakaka)...

we go jalan jalan~makan makan~went to carls juniors for burgers~haha~nice burger~nice place~n most important things is~
^NICE BESTIES^

^Besties Burger+ing 2gather^

we went bek my hse 32 around 10 smtg~bath...blah blah blah~then go out to Mcd yum cha again~crazy man~we walk to my main campus mcd~n the journey is quite scary~we yum until........OMG......5am we r still there~the reason is.........they scared to walk bek~~~=.="~~~ i'm so sleepy....n finally i drag them bek~end up we not walking bek but running bek my hse 32~ haha~crazy us^^as usual..:p

^10th Nov 2008^

wake up early(actually i'm the latest to wake up..:p)~haha~6am onli sleep leh~damn tired lo~~~prepare to go shopping~

we reach times square early in the morning n non of the shop open to let us eat breakfast=.="~end up we having breakfast in a small corner maggie mee shop~super small nasi lemak selling there~

shopping shopping~crapping crapping~taking photo as usual~take everywhere anytime~wakaka~ i spend money buy clothes n bag again~but Agnes tan bought sooooooooo much things than me lo~~haha~

finally~they have to go bek to JB~stupid monarail we waited for 45 minutes~until they gonna missed the bus dy~end up they decide to go Pudu by taxi~gd thing they get into bus on time~~~

Juz wanna tell u gals dat....i really appreciate dat wat u all did for me~so glad dat u all celebrate b'day for me in KL~~thx gals~

^Jia Yin^Agnes ban ban^MingLi^

^My 2nd B'day cake~thx Jia Yin^

^11th Nov 2008^

me n bao bei went to red box in sunway piramid~haha~n we onli pay for 3 BUCKS~u noe why?bcoz of the celcom gave us 10 bucks voucher each~so~1st time paying 3 bucks for red box~wakaka~

after dat~both of us went to starbucks to blow cake~

^My 3rd B'day cake~thx baobei^

^Me n Jie^

haha~i love blowing cake~stupid rite?but it's fun~ bao bei bought me a pretty cake~n he sang b'day song to me which make me laught coz he refuse to call me.....ehem....~haha~ but he have to left at 3pm...coz hv some stuff to do in college~i'm quite disappointed~but i have to b considerate la~anyway~he wanna to force me go home but i dun want~coz i dun want to b bek so early la~so扫兴~haha~end up i shopping alone after he go~quite lonely..(>_<)...but fun.... n i bought things again...=.="....girls nature la~~haha~~
^tHx BaO bEi for everything^

^12th Nov 2008^

wow~!! the exact day of my b'day~~haha~
^12th NOV 2008^
bao bei is the 1st wan who call me n greet me happy b'day~damn happy n supprise~haha~ n of coz i receive many many msg from my frenz ya~~...n my sista too~my round hand sis send me a b'day song dat sang by momeh~

^b'day song by momeh(actually my sis sang it)^

dat makes me cry coz i'm too touch n i miss her badly..(>_<)...(i like to cry..:p)... 2day i celebrate my big day with.....^HOUSE 32^

^Hse 32^

^my 4th B'day cake~thx hse 32^

we went to small genting~n have alot of fun~we have a steak meal~with nice view~haha~of coz we went to the highest place~it's really a nice place~i love it so much~from there we can have night view of KL n we saw genting too~

^night view from small genting^

thx xiao tian for suggesting dis place^^ after dat~we went for a movie^Madagasca^at Mid valley~nice movie~

finally~my b'day end here~~~

^13th Nov 2008^

i tot my b'day was end but dis day i have a supprise party from my dear cell group W19 members~haha~very touching~n i've blow my 5th b'day cake with 5th b'day wish(actually i made the same wishes everytime)~

^my 5th b'day cake~thx W19 ^


^W19 cell member^

===================================================================== i think my 1st b'day wish oredi come true~which is i hope dat i can have happinese~i dunno abt the 2nd wish~hehe~anyway~i'm really feel happinese now~doesnt care abt future~as long as now i am happy enough~

----------A BIG THANK YOU TO-------

my bez sista
^amy^ginnie^karine^

PG gang
^Jing^wei jie^lun^soon^chuan^

my lovely family
^dad^mum^round hand sis^smelly baby^

my Bao Bei
^JiE^

my SDJ besties
^Jia Yin^Agnes ban ban^MingLi^

my hse 32
^xiao tian^yong jie^sze yii^joanna^cass^shari^n the guys^

my cell W19
^Faith^denise^aily^kian hong^zhi yin^Hansoon^jessica^n those who didnt mention^

PS: more photo~pls visit my:

frenster:http://www.friendster.com/photos/28833229/1/685440767
facebook:
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/photo.php?pid=164098&id=1372626166
http://www.facebook.com/inbox/?ref=mb#/photo.php?pid=158847&id=1372626166&ref=mf