Thursday, January 22, 2009

==离别曲==


我是個不懂說別離,也害怕說別離的人。人生卻難免一再面對別離。

相聚的一刻,我們不是沒想過別離,而是總以為,一天,當別離的時刻降臨,我可以很瀟灑。

我一直以為,當離別的歌聲響起,我可以不掉眼淚,我可以揚揚下巴,帶著微笑說:「每一場相聚,都是離別的開始,我不是不知道的。」然而,一轉身,我總是禁不住依依回首,滿含熱淚,跟自己,也跟對方說:「可不可以不說再見?」

人生是不是可以不說再見?

當我們說了再見,背向曾經深愛的人,面對的,是不是會比他好?

曾經的深情,是不是在離別的一刻煙消雲散,還是永遠封存?

曾經的離離合合,是不是終於畫上了句號?

曾經的不捨,是不是已經走到了盡頭?再怎麼不捨,還是回不去了。

惟有愛情,始於如此的興奮與渴望,又終於如此的挫敗與荒涼。當時寫的這段文字,原來也可以用於相聚和離別。相聚的時刻有多快樂,離別的時候,也就有多苦澀。

曾經以為,離別是離開不愛的人,有一天,長大了,才發現,有一種離別,是離開你愛的人。有一種離別,是擦著眼淚,不敢回首。

------------------------------------------------------------------------------张小娴《离别曲》

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

^Our Room^

Juz finish my Anthropology presentation 2day~
Dunno why feel very sad after presenting~
although i did ok~but i cried when i reach home right after the presentation~
i think i'm too stress~and feel release after presenting by crying out loud~
i'm kinda weird~i Know..:p

Looking up the sky~
missing someone dat so close yet so far~
tears rolling down from my cheek again~
i'm very fragile~i know~
still learning not to cry so easily~

Anyway~still feel grateful dat God sends many angel surrounding me~
didnt sleep the whole nite to prepared the presentation yet God send someone to accompany me the whole nite~it's a great mentally support for me~thx alot~u noe who u r..^_^

In fact recently i do face most of the pressure from studies~
I even doubt myself for choosing the wrong way---Mass Communication~
Am i really have the ability to corp with all dis?..
haiz~sometimes we can't denied that there are distance between dream and reality~

buck up lo~AGNES CHAN!!

haha~Me n Shari juz change our study table position~
for ur information~me n shari move into a new room n become room mate last month~
the new arrangement is much more better than the first time we move in~
well~now we have our own private corner for studies~hehe~
we like it so much~




^Our Bed^


~My Study Corner^_^~

~Shari's Study Corner^_^~

Sunday, January 18, 2009

==pissed off==

being so emo recently~
dunno wat happen to me~
no mood to do anything~
no mood to go out~
no mood to talk~
n even no mood to eat=.="....~

pissed off.....
dunno wat can i do~
it's kinda tired to deal with these kind of things~
felt very uneasy of wat ppl think~
but we cant control isn't it?
learn not to explain~
coz the one who understand u dun need ur explaination...

i like to spend time wif ppl dat i comfortable wif...
but it doesn't mean dat there is something between us...
come on..we r big enough to handle all dis...
i know wat am i doin...
or mayb i really shud draw border line?but why?

anyway dis is juz something dat i feel very uneasy n pissed off with recently...
all i can say is....i'm very无奈=.="

pissed off......
shud i juz bein alone n live in my own world?
i guess i wont...
dun care wat u all say...
DAT'S ME.....

Saturday, January 17, 2009

==Perhaps...==


dis two little cuties-->xiao jie n xiao li bring bek my memories dat mean alot to me~
somehow i smile when i saw dis picture~...
wonder how is xiao jie doin now~being abandoned?or still being treasure by his owner?

go to school~
laught wif frens....
life still goin on~
in fact i oredi used to the life dat without dis person who once owns my whole world~
but sometimes somehow i broke down n cried when i think of him~
i knew dat i can live without him~
but i can't denied dat my love for him have never decrease from the moment i left him~
when he walk out from my life~
something was missing~
juz like sometimes we lost something dat valuable to us~
dis is wat i felt~

once again when i stretch my hand to you~
will u hold it tight~or will u juz turn ur back n walk away?
i can't imagine~perhaps i should'nt think of dis~
becoz i noe dat we will never b together again~

unless~
u realise dat actually u love me more than wat u think~
i'm waiting for this day to come~
even i noe it's juz my wildful wish~

~mayb i'm too tired?
dat's why writting all dis crap......
perhaps...perhaps....perhaps...

Nite...zZ

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

--最近.好吗--

回忆悄悄地涌进心里~
眼眶又莫名地湿了~

不能想他~
会痛~

最近被恋爱的气息环绕~
所以特别想他~

世界上虽然没有人是无法取代的~
但却会有一段无法取代的感情~

对他的感情~
无法取代~
虽然以后的以后~
会有能够取代他的人~

想念~
真的很想~

最近~好吗?

Monday, January 12, 2009

~因为有你们~我是幸福的~

想了好久~最后决定向老爸坦白了我上个考试的成绩~
不知道该怎样开口~所以我用了email来告诉他~
哈哈~朋友都说我爸好in~
对啊~我爸是会用email的咯~厉害叻~
而且没想到的是他的回复快得惊人=.="

看了他的回复~忍不住哭了~
Never mind~Know where u stand and start to pick up from there~no point regretting~Just remember that there is no turning back now~You need not get up tight or emotional over failures~Failures are just stepping stones for success~Believe in urself n live a discipline life...

倔强的我从来都不为成绩而难过~
总觉得只要我尽力了即使考坏了我也不会伤心~
不外这次我清楚自己并没尽力~所以我才难过~
我清楚自己没法把自己的情绪处理好~所以才会失败~
所以才会让家人失望~

姐说爸forward了我的email给她~
她看了也哭了~她为我感到难过~
她说爸没怪我~只是担心我~
其实我真的觉得很幸福~起码在遇到挫折的时候~家人依然支持着我~
然而他们的支持让我深深地感到内疚~
因为我的失败是自己造成的~

哭了几回~
很down~
很痛~
很烦~

跌倒了~
只能够自己爬起来~

p.s. 谢谢大姐一直支持着我~我知道你很担心~谢谢你叫May来找我~你永远都是我最爱的大姐~~thx May too~

Friday, January 9, 2009

~Down...~

quite down~
i got my result last nite~
abit surprised~coz i fail 2 subjects~
haiz~
i expected i'll fail communication law~
but i didnt expect dat i'll fail communication theories~

although i noe i didn't really work hard~
although i noe i didn't really manage my emotion well before the exam~
but i still felt really really sad~
can onli say dat i deserve it coz it's all my fault~

gonna work hard for dis sem~
anthropology will kill me dis sem i guess~
but i wont defeat so easily!!
i wont~bcoz i am AGNES CHAN~

haiz~
everything seems to b not so smooth~
juz now step on a thumb tack in my room~
n i'm walking like a duck now=.="~

Dear God,
i leave everything into ur hand~
please help ur child to b a cheerful person~
please give me strenght to work hard in this semester~
please heal my broken heart~
please solve the problem that i'm facing now~
i commit once again to u~
in Jesus name i pray~
Amen~

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

==不.必.问==

有些事~
的确不必问~
有些答案~
日后知道更好~
也许永远不知道最好~

每个女人都经历过寻根究底的阶段~
学习不再问问题~
非为讨好男人~
而是不想听到令自己伤心的答案~


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最近都在看张小娴的书~
也忘了几十爱上她的书~
简单的文字~简单的小哲学~
但却说的头头是道~起码她说中我的心情吧~
睡前看上几面~让我思考思考还真的有帮助~
不过偶尔会有点感伤~

呵呵~我本来就比较多愁善感的~
小小的事情可以让我的情绪有所影响~
任何风吹草动~我都会很敏感~

很多事情~真的不必问那么多吧~上面那段话也是昨晚在书上看到的~
对啊~我觉得我以往都做得很对~不问那么多也知道的少~
知道了反而弄到自己伤心而已~
就算现在要让我知道些什么不好的东西~我也宁远永远不知道的好~

但人都是犯贱的~
明明不想知道却还是会想念他会想知道他过得好不好会不会偶尔想起我~
知道答案了又只会自己伤多一回而已~


唉~~

会想我吗...

Monday, January 5, 2009

==新学期.我要 ==

每当做了一个抉择~
都会怀疑自己是否应该选择另一种做法~
却不知道根本不可能再选择~


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开学咯~~~
但是超讨厌~时间表超乱~
一直撞时间都不知道我们能拿什么科....=.="
结果必不得已要拿不想拿的科~
唉~

新的学期~

我要
1. 抽时间读书~不要临时啃书..(哈哈~上个semester说过了:p)
2. 尽量早睡~别熬夜~安排好做功课的时间~
3. 早上十点前起身~
4. 正常饮食~正常吃饭时间~
5. 每天去学校~不能再skip class!
6. 不要再搞自闭~交多点朋友~
7. 安排好出去玩的时间~
8. 每个拜六跟shari去游泳和gym~
9. bible studies.
10. good money management..
11. 变美美!!哈哈
12. 让自己忙一点~
13. 对自己好一点~爱自己多一点

哈哈~这十三个起码要有六个做到~
加油加油加油!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

==随风.而去==

爱过的人~
曾经牵过的手~
曾经拥有过的温柔~
最终也只会像看别人故事一样~
随风而去~

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是谁先爱上谁~
是谁先不在乎谁~
又是谁爱谁多一点~
旁观者清~

不解释了~不为他找借口了~
你们是对的~

我把自己关在一个圆圈里~
门外挂着《闲人免进》~
为自己穿上了防卫的外衣~
我必须保护自己~
而不是继续为他辩护~
我明白~

有时候~
宁可不那么坚强~
我的确值得更好的陪在我身边~

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思念一个人~
也只能思念到某种程度~
因为当思念长久的落空~
你早晚会绝望~

不管三七二十一~
痛痛快快哭一场~
我好想~

Thursday, January 1, 2009

--2009---愿~一切安好....--

屋外的烟花渐渐停息~
送走了2008~
一切又平静了~
那种感觉其实还蛮奇妙的~
参杂着一点点的喜悦~
一点点的期待~
一点点的不舍~
一点点的落寞~

舍不得2008~
因为它是我生命里最重要的一个年份~
离开家人离乡背井追求梦想~
离开好朋友踏进新而陌生的圈子结交新的朋友~
离开了深爱着的他~

很多事情都是个必须~
由不得我们来选择~
倘若能选择~一切是否会不一样了?

2009~
我还是有所期待的~

给自己一个期限~
两个月也好~三个月也好~一年也好~
不能再让自己沉沦在伤心欲绝里~
否则~我真的会错过很多~很多~

新的一年~希望一切安好~
多点目标~多点朋友~
多点快乐~多点幸福~
眼泪少点~心痛离我远远~

也希望你~笑容依旧~
一切安好~

2009年~
新年快乐~