~=烦=~

烦~

如果爱情能简单一点的话~我想我们都不会那么无奈吧~把心里话说出来后~似乎没改变得了什么~而他~是否真的有认真去想呢？

那天他问我觉得这样值不值得~我被他问倒了~我从来不知道这样值不值得~从来没去想~~我想这不是我自己能衡量的~不过只要感觉得到他在身边~我脸上都会挂着笑容~这是我所知道的~那么~这样算不算值得呢？用我的时间来交换笑容~算值得吧~~

当他又突然消失的时候~我好不踏实~~

一切都看他怎么做决定了~我有的是时间~

~+~酱就够了~+~+

好久没那么开心了哦~莹终于回来了~哈哈~昨天跟了她和steve先生去看了电影~哇 靠~PATHOLOGI!!恶心血腥的电影~我最讨厌的~我想大半部分都是蒙着眼看的吧~还被莹说我吵=.="~不要酱~我真的很顶不顺血腥的电影咯~哈 哈~晚上在她家楼下喝茶聊天到三点才回家~然后在她家又聊多一轮到五点~真是的~女生是酱的咯~嘻嘻~

今早呢我们去唱k~我啊几百年没唱了然后今天真的唱到很爽咯~哈哈~之后去shopping买衣服~花了不少钱~=.="~不过我真的好久没这样了~很开心很尽兴~

明天我又能回hometown了~这次回去是先meet我的好朋友们~我们要去吃火锅然后再看到哪里去玩~太开心了~明天一定要玩得很开心很开心哦~友谊万岁~期待期待~

不 过呢~之后就真的要乖乖呆在家做assignment咯~开学有两份要交啊~这也是为什么一回到hometown我就先把时间给我的好朋友们~因为恐怕我 没有其它时间了~当然我也很开心又能见到我的白痴家人咯~嘻嘻~老爸下午打来听他声音就知他几期待我回去~陈家的公主要回家了~嘿嘿~

我啊我~我想只有他能让我笑得那么开心吧~只要在我身边就好~真的~我什么都不想要了~

今晚会睡得很甜~晚安各位^^

~=追。逐=~

忙了两天~也失眠了两天~今天的presentation终于过去了~伤心的是我做的很不好~~从来没有那么糟糕~这一次真的是~~~很伤心咯~我承认我是没花很多心思~但起码还是有努力啊~唉~~为什么我每次什么事都事与愿违~~好down哦~

下次再努力吧~我生来本来就是个要比别人更努力才会有成果的人（有时甚至比别人努力还是会失败）~所以除了努力我没有其它的能做~多么羡慕那些天生聪明英文又好得不行的人~任何presentation都不会难倒他们~~~唉~~

不想追逐他的脚步~最后我还是这么做了~没办法不跟~每次一停下脚步我就觉 得好不踏实~好像要从悬崖掉下去了的感觉~或许是我自己怕真的跌下去吧~因为真的跌太多次了~总听别人说与其在悬崖那徘徊在那害怕~不如就跳下去让一切结 束可能会更好~不过真的如此吗？很多人都认为我已经不爱了看开了释怀了~的确我的生活还是照样在过~但又有谁会知道在安静的夜晚我的心痛上几回呢？脸上的快乐~别人看得到~心里的痛又有谁会去察觉？眼泪是少了~就代表真的不爱了？我不知道~

终于我还是开口了~该死的夜晚让我的心再也没办法逃避~对啊~在我心里我何 尝不是每时每刻都在期待呢~曾以为我们都走远了~连背影都看不到了~转了一圈我们似乎还是走不开~事实我们都并还没走远~至少心里还是在乎的吧~只不过像 他所说的~在乎不是爱~而我们是否真的爱对方？又爱得多深？我想我们都还找不到答案~而我们在害怕的~其实只是真的回头的话以后会不会快乐而已~不是吗？ 我从来都不去想以后的事情~因为我总是觉得未来的快乐是要靠两个人的努力才能得到的~但我似乎也被他逼退了~我竟然开始怀疑~我们真的会快乐吗？这真的不 像我~朋友都说我的举动有时真的让人无法理解~明明还爱又表现得好释怀~不这么做的话我想我会把情况弄得更糟不是？

我真的不是个会在乎有没有以后的人~爱情本来都不会像童话故事般完美~所以对我而言爱情只要过得去就好~何必去计较它的瑕疵~我们都不会懂有了开始的故事是否一定会有美好的结果~但有梦的人生才够精彩~

让我们重新再来~好吗？爱得简单就是幸福~何必去在乎其它的东西？

这是我最后一次的期待了~

~@我是神经病@我讨厌雨天@我能怎样?@他想怎样?@啊！！！~~疯啦！

今早一早起来有点pekceh~有刚好外面下起雨来~让我更加心情不愉快~我发现我真的超讨厌雨天的~因为雨天真能影响我的心情咯~让我今天一整天~sucks mood!!

睡不下去了就起身收拾东西啊洗衣啊煮饭的~酱弄一下竟然就下午两点了~唉~speech都还没开始找资料~所以就勉强找了一下~很懒啊~很不想动咯~结果就真的瘫在床上一整天~最后~speech还是没做到~啊！！！！~~~~~~~~~~shit!!

没 回hometown的周末真的很空虚~我要回家啦~整天关在房间我看不久我要长菇了=.="....又懒得出门~（其实是没朋友~呵呵~）~以前的周末都 是跟他一起过的~每次都好象不够用~分手后呢周末不是做工就是找姐妹~自从生了场大病后现在工也不做了~姐妹也不在kl~唉~真的是~~~无聊透 顶！！！！

烦啊！！！！！let go n move on!!!个屁~~~做得到就好~要我不去想都有点难了~何况是LET GO!!!!呜呜~~~~语无伦次了~~

啊！！！~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~干嘛啦我~~~真的很烦~无奈~超无奈~我到底想怎样能怎样会怎样？？不懂不懂不懂啦~不要再问我了啦~

呜呜~他到底想怎样会怎样？我不敢问不敢懂啦~

我是神经病！！！！~~~~~~

P.S.生日快乐~黄威翔！！最有心就是我~感动吗？哈哈哈~

晚安各位~我真的是神经病！！。。。啊！！！~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~=爱情的保存期限=~

最近开始越来越多东西要忙咯~我啊~最近越来越懒惰了~呵呵~反正这个sem的MR KANAN都不care我们的attendance~所以每次早上课都不去上~不行啦~要改掉这个坏习惯~哈哈~不过真的很懒叻~尤其我每次都需要一个小时准备=.=''。。我会努力的！

我 呢~开始喜欢上一个人走在街上~看看身边经过的陌路人~然后用自己的想象力来想象对方是个怎样的人、经历过怎样的事~...看到甜蜜的恋人~会打从心里祝福他们 一直幸福下去；看到在争吵中的恋人~会想劝他们珍惜难得的幸福~不过我不认识他们~所以当然没做酱的傻事吖~哈哈~我想每个人都有不同的经 历吧~背后必定也会有不同的伤口~人生大部分的时间本来都是在面对+解决难题~最重要的其实只是我们用什么态度来面对难题而已~

最 近的我~生活平平淡淡~心情~也平平静静的~没很好~也没很差~其实呢~心中的死结还没解开~因为解不开~所以干脆不解了~不去想就没事~但只要开始想 了~就会没完没了=.=''~人嘛~总是爱对自己说谎~同时也爱做很多表面功夫来对大家说谎~为什么要这样呢？不了解~我~偶尔还是会莫名的低落~尤其当 我去到我们去过的地方~经过他家~回忆着我们做过的事~心就会有甜甜苦苦涩涩的感觉~复杂~倔强的我~不再哭了~多难过都好~都已学会一笑置之~心很痛的时候~憋着呼吸~因为呼吸真的会痛~所以已经内伤了~呵呵~

我想他还是会想起我的~会用怎样的情绪？是否也像我一样在欺骗自己？我不知道~他也不会让别人知道吧~他的表面功夫做得很充足~这方面他真的很厉害..

这 世界上没有未完成的故事~只有未死的心~我也无法证明自己不会再相信爱情~说我无法再相信爱情只是个借口~对啊~我的确还在期盼~期盼他会回头看我~什么 结果都好~只要回头看看我~你要我考虑可不可以尝试喜欢你~我有想考虑~在某些层次上~或许你可以让我喜欢~但那也只会是朋友的喜欢~（能成为朋友一定是 因为有基本的“喜欢”才能成为朋友啊！）我想你比谁都清楚的~对吧？我不需要时间~因为我也并不打算给自己时间~

对他的感情~不是一朝一夕~也不是别人甚至是他本身能了解的~只有我自己懂~却也解释不了~或许在他眼里我已经是expired~过了保存期限~没了价值~

而爱情~不过是如此而已~

愿世上所有有情人的爱情~都不会有保存期限~像童话故事般~happily ever after.....

~i love my frenzZ~+~+

time goes so fast..finally i have to b back to continue my college life liao..haiz..it’s all abt LECTURES,TUTORIAL,ASSIGNMENTS n PRESENTATION….

anyway..i had spend a nice weekends in JB..at least i can c my family..n of coz my dear frenz…surprisingly,my flu recover when i reach home..i think i really have terrible homesick..

it’s been a long time dat we didnt gather 2gather liao..finally during dis mid-autumn festival we can have BBQ gathering in Amy’s hse..i think everyone have a wonderful time..of coz i’m the happiest person i guess..hehe..

ya..i’m happy bcoz we can gather up again although all of us have our own life n own way to go..everyone seems to have different life now..n somehow we still yearning the time when we r still in secondnary school..i think dat’s everyone sweetest memories..dun we?

anyway i’m happy to c him too..we didnt manage to talk much..but it’s good enough for me..sometimes words may not express..but action can replace everything..all dat he done may look small but it’s really make me feel happy..i dun really noe how much i love him but he do mean alots to me..n sometimes i will feel dat i still mean something to him,too..can i feel dat way?i dunno..

but i think i shud’nt think too much..it onli will make me feel hurt after all when i realize actually i mean nothing..

as long as he dun disappear from my life..

~+~i've never had a dream come true~+~+

“…hold my hand..n i will bring u hapinese….”he says dis to me..

i was so happy..n i tot dat he’s back…right here with me..

but actually is juz a dream..dis is wat he said to me in my dream last nite…

i’ve been dreamt of him since he left me..n i think i’m really goin to b crazy liao..

anyway..my dream will not be come true..dat dream woke me up at 4a.m. in the morning..n definitely was in my tears..haiz..

looking at my laptop..realize dat he’s still on9+ing..my hearts hurt..ya..i always woke up in the middle of the nite..n drown myself with heart broken..

sometimes..we might think dat when

we close our eyes..we will not c everything dat we doesn’t want to c;

cover our ear,we will not hear the things dat we doesn’t want to hear;

stop our footstep,our hearts will stop moving forward…

but dis is just wat we think but we r actually running away from reality..

r u happy?i hope u really r..

if u nvr think of leaving a person 4rever..u will not say u wanna leave..

u r not turning back..will u?

……i’ve never had a dream come true..so..i shud stop dreaming..

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hope to get well soon..i not yet recover from my sick..=_=”

~+~streamyx SUCKS!!~+~+

+06/09/08+Saturday+Rainy day (>_<) +11:30pm+

I promise not to work anymore..why shud I tortured myself wif WORK WORK n WORK?i really dun understand wat am I thinking..tot of forget all the unhappiness by making myself busy..but actually I’m torturing myself..anyway i’m kinda stupid..PROMISE not to do dat anymore..(due to I juz recover from my sick..my best sista n my dear room mates scolded me for working..haha..but quite touch coz felt dat I’m actually still mean smtg to someone else..thx my dear frenz ya..)

ASSIGNMENT ASSIGNMENT n ASSIGNMENT!!i need idea for my assignment..SOMEBODY PLS HELP ME!!!!due date is coming..i still haven’t started anything…DAMN IDIOT!!last minute work again..haiz…2moro I must complete it!!

Wuwu..i’m homesick again..decided to go bek home town next weekend..haha..my lovely home..i will b back soon…..n of coz miss my frenz over there..i guess we will have great time gathering..looking forward yo^^

When everyone is concerning abt how high u flew..onli a few of them will concern how tired r u ..right now.. everyone is looking at my failure..but they actually neglect abt how hard I’ve try..wat to do?dis is human nature..haiz..i’m really tired…n my heart need a good rest…

Felt tired n hungry now..i’m enjoying my sago honey dew dat bought by my dear housemate..hehe..

our house streamyx sucks!!i guess I have to upload dis blog 2moro yea..good nite everyone..

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

P.S. thx for offer me ur shoulder to lean on..i’m appreciate ur kindness but not goin to accept it..coz I need time to find back my courage to lean n to love all over again..it’s not dat u r not good enough for me..u r good..it’s all my problem..trust me..sorry n thank u..u noe who u r..

~i'm getting tired of having a broken heart~~

actually thinking of posting blog last nite but i was too tired of rushing my script~unfortunately..our lecturer is on his medical leave today..so..our presentation postponed~my goodness~we spend our whole nite to prepared but in the end....anyway..take it as a lesson so dat i wont do last minutes work next time..=_=||..

i had a nightmare..actually is not a nightmare i guess..it's rewinder of our past....during these period of time when i'm sick my mind was occupied with his shadow...everytime when i ate my medicine n i feel drowsy my mind will think of the memories dat we hv been thru...i can still remember the last scene in my mind before i get into my deep sleep was always the scene dat i walk out from his apartment n waiting for the train behind his apartment..he didnt noe i was gone..but i think even he noes he will still hurt me..i noe dat..dat's why i choose to leave him silently..ya..the memories stops here i guess..n every time..i definitely will woke up in tears..

finally i realize dat we live in a different world..we have to admit dat everything was change n we r no longer the same person dat we r use to b..mayb situation change our hearts?who noes?onli god's noes the best things for us..i trust god for dis..but in the meanwhile really makes me felt agony~dis is not beyond my control n i noe i cant blame myself for dis~i oso wish to make myself feel better~but in time being i really cant do anything~in fact it really need to take some times to fix my broken heart~

everything went back to normal bcoz i started to have things to busy wif~i dun really noe whether is good for me or i juz running away from the problem~well..i can't run away from it anymore..it makes me worst when reach the time dat i really have no choice except to face it..but how?i really cant figure out..

i noe he has his own life to go..he has his own frenz..own dreams..without me...he can live happily..i understand dat..so..why shud i still holding on the things dat not belongs to me?i oso hv my own life to live on..n i cant stop in this circle anymore..my dreams still can achieve even without him..i cant follow his foot step anymore..bcoz he's oredi walking far far away from me until i cant c him..it's time for me to really let go le~it is the best way i think..to make myself feel better...

no point holding on the past dat disappoint me..all the best for me..n for u as well..i will not give my heart to anyone else anymore unless i'm sure dat he will love me more than i love him..i will rather keep my heart to myself so dat i wont get hurt..

we attach ourselve so closely to someone..but when he gone..a part of us gone too..love is so fragile..sometimes i wish to b a little girl again bcoz bruised knee heals faster than broken hearts....