~i'm getting tired of having a broken heart~~

actually thinking of posting blog last nite but i was too tired of rushing my script~unfortunately..our lecturer is on his medical leave today..so..our presentation postponed~my goodness~we spend our whole nite to prepared but in the end....anyway..take it as a lesson so dat i wont do last minutes work next time..=_=||..

i had a nightmare..actually is not a nightmare i guess..it's rewinder of our past....during these period of time when i'm sick my mind was occupied with his shadow...everytime when i ate my medicine n i feel drowsy my mind will think of the memories dat we hv been thru...i can still remember the last scene in my mind before i get into my deep sleep was always the scene dat i walk out from his apartment n waiting for the train behind his apartment..he didnt noe i was gone..but i think even he noes he will still hurt me..i noe dat..dat's why i choose to leave him silently..ya..the memories stops here i guess..n every time..i definitely will woke up in tears..

finally i realize dat we live in a different world..we have to admit dat everything was change n we r no longer the same person dat we r use to b..mayb situation change our hearts?who noes?onli god's noes the best things for us..i trust god for dis..but in the meanwhile really makes me felt agony~dis is not beyond my control n i noe i cant blame myself for dis~i oso wish to make myself feel better~but in time being i really cant do anything~in fact it really need to take some times to fix my broken heart~

everything went back to normal bcoz i started to have things to busy wif~i dun really noe whether is good for me or i juz running away from the problem~well..i can't run away from it anymore..it makes me worst when reach the time dat i really have no choice except to face it..but how?i really cant figure out..

i noe he has his own life to go..he has his own frenz..own dreams..without me...he can live happily..i understand dat..so..why shud i still holding on the things dat not belongs to me?i oso hv my own life to live on..n i cant stop in this circle anymore..my dreams still can achieve even without him..i cant follow his foot step anymore..bcoz he's oredi walking far far away from me until i cant c him..it's time for me to really let go le~it is the best way i think..to make myself feel better...

no point holding on the past dat disappoint me..all the best for me..n for u as well..i will not give my heart to anyone else anymore unless i'm sure dat he will love me more than i love him..i will rather keep my heart to myself so dat i wont get hurt..

we attach ourselve so closely to someone..but when he gone..a part of us gone too..love is so fragile..sometimes i wish to b a little girl again bcoz bruised knee heals faster than broken hearts....